Sunday I was down. Today I'm just angry and disappointed.
I'm angry that she is doing what she is doing. So many people have been affected by her selfish indulgence (someone else used that term, and I like it); not just me, but her kids, my kids, her X and his wife, our friends...and we're all mopping up the mess while she skips along tra-la-la.
(The reality is that probably she is not skipping along, which makes all of this so much more of a waste.)
I'm angry that she sought emotional comfort from someone else while telling me at the very same time how much she loved me and loved being my wife.
I'm angry that I'm spending money to refurnish the house; money that was supposed to go elsewhere.
I'm disappointed with myself for all the times I was angry at her and showed it in the worst way possible.
I'm disappointed with myself for being a WAH in my 1st marriage and an OM in another man's marriage.
And I'm angry at all of the WAS's out there who are causing pain and suffering to their families and friends; who are doing that to all of us here. This site has become a "virtual family" for me and when I read about the heartaches and frustrations being experienced by you and/or your children it gets to me.
It's OK, though. I am allowing myself to feel like this so I can get it out of my system and deal with the situation with a PMA. I know it's temporary; I know it will pass in as little as a few hours.
I am grateful for the family and friends who have been there for me and allowed me to ride this rollercoaster without criticism or judgment.
There. I feel better already.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
