Well, I had a "moment" today where I got the answer. I can't explain why it suddenly sunk in, but it just did. My copy of [edited by dbmod: advertising/book not recommended] likely had a lot to do with it -- basically, it reinforces the notion that you have to be the source of your own self-esteem. You can't depend on others for your validation; you have to be happy with who you are, regardless of what other people think. And, in that moment, I realized the answer: I have to learn to love myself regardless of whatever other people think. My whole life, I've placed all of my self-worth on what OTHER PEOPLE have thought about me. I have never once TRULY loved myself for who I am...
[edited by dbmod: advertising/book not recommended] has a lot of great suggestions for helping a trashed self-esteem, including writing down positive validations; accepting one's flaws and imperfections ("perfectly imperfect"); treating oneself well; and, of course, learning to let things just be as they are. My situation with my W is the prime example of the last one; there's not a whole lot I can do about it. It was her choice to go down that path, and now it's up to her to decide where we go next. All I can do is depend on myself and work on myself to the best of my abilities.
