soccerwife, thank you for the reply, and please hang in there. You are doing great - I know it is so, so hard, this journey we are on.

Unfortunately, yesterday I found out the hard way H isn’t really interested in recommitting to our marriage, at least right now. After saying he broke contact with OW, he essentially told me yesterday he planned to resume it.

This is how it unfolded: He didn’t answer his phone when I called him about something yesterday, which is VERY unlike him. I kept calling because I just had this feeling something was wrong. He finally answered, and I asked him if he was with HER, and he said, “No, but I have to tell you I do plan to call her today”. Needless to say, I freaked. Started wailing and crying on the phone, begging him not to do it. But he was cold as ice. Said, “sorry”, and hung up on me. Sent me a text later saying he’d “discuss things when I was calm”, etc. and since then, I have been an absolute wreck. Met with a lawyer today, been crying and feeling really bereft. Don’t know what to do. I know that I violated all DB practices, but I just couldn't get a grip.

He is simply not the man I married nearly 14 years ago. He is cold, heartless, seemingly indifferent to my suffering. Seems intent on blaming our marriage problems on me. Says he hasn’t been happy for a long time and this affair has nothing to do with how he feels or doesn’t feel about me.

WHAT CAN I DO??? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I am truly lost. Despondent. Lawyer today thinks I should file immediately. But I’m not sure. Is there any hope left?? He did speak with our priest last week for 3 hours on the phone and when I called the priest last night, he seemed truly shocked that things had changed so drastically so quickly.

We did speak for a while this evening and he was more contrite. Said he wants to take things slowly, try to be "friends" for now. But how can I be friends when he is seeing someone else?

Seriously, I'm totally confused right now. Thank goodness my DB coaching session with Joanne is this Wednesday. Any other advice would be appreciated.