MHL, Pickle - Thanks for your thoughts. Stuff to ponder I suppose.

Maybe I see my situation as being closer to reconciliation than others on the outside looking in. Maybe that is my problem.

I just feel that somewhere within my W she knows that she wants to make our M work... on the surface though, she is confused and afraid.

Of course there is a significant possibility that I am wrong.

But feeling like that, it is very difficult for me to really turn my attention to doing things that I would do if I felt like my M were really over.

It is limbo.

Where I have been for months.

Nothing in my email to W has changed that.

I can pretend that I am okay moving forward with my life all I want... it doesn't make it true. I'm not ok with that.

I'm not ready for that.

M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce