You're not going to like what I'm going to say Denver. But, if you've followed my sitch you'll know the perspective.
My XW ended my M and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it. In the past several months I have often thought and wondered: how could things possibly get better? I did my DBing, my GALing, my 180's and I feel better and stronger, but none of that influenced any of HER decisions. She pursued OM and filed for divorce.
Which leads me to question if I could ever trust any kind of future commitment from her. She's changed, not the woman I married, become weak, forsaken her faith, discarded her wedding vows. It could all be medical, depression related, MLC, whatever - but excused? I think not.
You see, as much we work to change ourselves, better ourselves, try to become that person she'd be a fool to leave, we still have no control over our WAS's, their feelings and ultimately their choices.
For me the hard truth is they are the ones who really need to also CHANGE, if we're ever to take them back and have a better M, as opposed to the same old crap that fell apart. And I'm not going to watch and wait for that to happen; life is just too short.
So think about what you really mean by "unconditional love." For me it means, "I let you go".
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
