I don't trust what I think, say or do regarding my situation any longer. I don't trust my instinct.
I feel blind.
You should not trust your instinct (ie your feelings) none of this "feels" right........
however it is what works for both of you.
for you it protects you from the pain of contact with her while she is undecided....
and
It gives her the opportunity to assess her decisions.
In time the pain of not hearing from her or the second guessing will go away.......
The time it takes for that pain to subside is significantly shortened by focusing on your life, your goals, your desires.......YOUR HAPPINESS.
In time you will be able to carry on that casual contact with your W......you will be able to support her in a loving way without getting your feelings hurt by her not reflecting that love back towards you.
During this time you will learn to "LOVE" (verb) your W differently........actually you will learn to "LOVE" everyone differently.
When you learn this and do it you will find JOY in it........your capacity to LOVE will grow.
Right now your capacity to "LOVE" is somewhat limited by your own needs and desires.........not bashing you.......it is just the way it is.
You will learn to "LOVE" the way GOD loves us.........it is in that "LOVE" that you will find the joy in life again.
Hope this helps.
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
