jb and Telemark, you're both right. H has no clue, which is only serving to confuse me more.
It's amazing how you can see light in other's sitches but have no idea if there's any in your own because you're too caught up in the emotion of it all.
Anyway, yesterday H was very affectionate. Even more so than he's been since the first bomb in April. He asked my permission to take S7 fishing and texted me numerous times throughout the day to see what me and S16 were up to. We had dinner as a family and he kept asking me to tell the kids some funny stories from my childhood.
Later, he asked me to cuddle with him in bed and then offered me a back rub. I wasn't sure if I should bring up the letter again, or bring up the discussion about when we should tell the children so I just lay there and let him hold me. I declined the back rub but he kept insisting he wanted to so I relented.
It's almost like he's acting "as if" he didn't get my letter.
However, not talking about it, is still not moving us forward. So I know I need to be the one to push the conversation because keeping quiet has not worked for the past 4 months. It only leads to another bomb. It's time for me to do something different.
I thought the letter would be his out and that he would take it. I now wonder if it's only bought him more time to vacillate and if I need to insist on a better response then his previous, "I don't accept your letter". He did say he was going to draft up a proper response but knowing him, that will be pushed under the carpet as well so to speak.
Seriously perplexed. I feel like if I don't do something, he won't take my letter seriously. However, I'm not exactly in a huge hurry to blow my children's world apart.
