Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

Thanks LP, I am pretty sure I will make it through the day. If I can face H when he gets home from work is another question.

There were certainly moments last night that I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through another minute let alone 10 minutes.

I drove to a WalMart parking lot and screamed and sobbed in my car for God knows how long. Next thing I knew I was kneeling outside of my car on the pavement in the freezing cold thunderstorm praying for strength, a sign, change. I began to shiver and gathered myself back up then drove to my dad's house. It was the middle of the night but he was still awake and watching TV, like he had been waiting for weeks for me to show up.

I just cried and told him everything that was going on. He is a very smart and sensitive man. Although I didn't agree with all the advice he gave me, it really helped calm my nerves to talk to him finally after 8 months of turmoil.

My dad and I talked until 3am, then I drove myself home. H was fast asleep when I got here. He didn't even notice I came home. That had to be the first time he has went to sleep before 6am for a month. Is that really how much I mean to him?