Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

Pain.

I had another nightmare last night. This time I was running through a concrete maze of city streets. There were no other people, or life for that matter. There were no lights. Only grey angular concrete and stark skies. I ran up and down endless streets only to reveal the next dismal block of looming skyscrapers. I tried with all of my might to get somewhere but I just kept moving slower and feeling more lost.

If you have ever had the "running but not getting anywhere", "running against the wind", or "running up hill" dream you know what I am talking about. I don't even know what I was running from or what I was looking for; I only knew that I was scared/uncertain/searching and I had to run.

I fell asleep envisioning H's arms wrapped around me, comforting me in my time of need, but woke up to a harsh reality as I remembered the dream my subconscious provided. I am broken. I fear I am forever incapable of trusting, bonding, or loving.