Preseason has begun...just trying to make the cut

[MadeToSucceed]

In the midst of my downward feelings yesterday I saw a post she made on Facebook:

"There are things in life that I can't even begin to understand the reasoning behind. Thats when I really have to focus on taking my hands out of it, sitting back and letting God work. He knows whats best for me, and thats a comforting feeling. So Still I Stand! To have fear is to take God out of the equation.. so be FEARLESS! Have a great rest of the day FB Fam! ~ I Smile~ ; )"

Confused the hell out of me because I can't see how she would believe God is "encouraging" her behavior.

Then her twitter posts:

"Not my will, but yours be done. #trust" - (again...THIS is His will? Seems like hers to me.)

"Sometimes the first step in moving past a bad experience is simply saying to yourself "I'm going to be alright", and believing it." (Soooo...I'M the "bad experience?")

"So much clearer to me now... my eyes were wide shut for a long time. Everything looks perfect through rose colored glasses. #itookmineoff" (No words.)

And then finally...the swift kick to the groin...publicly admonishing OM for his on the field accomplishments:

"OM BALLED OUT today!! Congrats to him and OM's team on their win today!!"

Don't know why I bothered to look but it is flat out disgusting to me and doesn't show any signs of her "missing" me even with me not responding to or contacting her for what will be 7 straight days this evening.

I'm definitely still committed to changing me regardless but I feel like at times I'm not really DB'ing because I'm not doing anything to spur "change" in my marital situation...because as of now, no change appears imminent. Just trying to maintain faith and hope but it gets tough when you see public displays like that for thousands of people to read.