Compassion for a MLCer

[broken5150]

Hello All!

Been super busy with work and church activities and I have been able to post here in a while.

25, I will answer your questions soon. I believe my answers will be pretty lengthy 

A couple of things have happened within the last couple of weeks…

1st It seems like all the venom spewing, name calling, hateful acts that my wife was laying on me has slowly , if not, come to a complete end. Yes, she has her moments especially when she’s asking for money. But then a few minutes later, we talk as if nothing has happened. I’m seeing more of the woman she used to be. She is resuming her duties as a great mom and is not going out as much as she used to. It also seems like she’s trying to re-connect with some of the people she did away with at the beginning of this whole mess. Everyone, of course, except me. I’m also getting wind from family members in NY that her mom is getting fed up with her and is tired of all the baby sitting she is doing while her daughter goes out. Mother in law also commented that her daughter should return to her husband already.

2nd Last Saturday, I took the kids out to the movies. When I went to drop them off, I notice the my W car was not home. 3 minutes later she pulls up and I see a guy in her passenger seat. When he saw me, he had the dear in the headlights look. She pulls in and parks her truck. I immediately told the kids to get inside because I thought things were going to get ugly. When I got out of my car, I notice that she had another guy in the back seat. The guy I saw in the back seat was the one guy I saw in a picture with my wife hugging her. She came out smiling. (I think she was trying to defuse me by smiling). I asked her why was she bringing these guys up in front of the kids? She swore up and down that they were just friends. Granted, before we met, she did have allot of guy friends with no intentions, but of course, they were gay. These guys aren’t. I also noticed that they were almost 10 years younger than her. GET THIS!!! She told me to go over and shake their hand! When, I looked in the truck again, they couldn’t DARE look at me! When I looked at my wife, she had that expression in her face that I know all too well that she FUGED UP! Apparently, divine intervention grabbed a hold of me and put me in my car and I drove off.

Friends or not, a 38 year old woman, driving around guys in their early to mid twenties??? First questions that comes in to my head is WHY? What could those dudes possibly want with her huh? I just take it as yet another sign of replay.

Later that day, she had called her cousin. (Her cousin is one of the ones she wants to reconnect with) She told her cousin that she felt bad for what she did, but on the other hand, she feels like she did nothing wrong. She also told her, that she would like to get back with me but, I had to change. WTF!!!! Like haven’t changed enough already!

I did not contact her for 2 days and she sent me a text telling me that I was very rude and immature driving off like that. Then she tells me that they are just friends and she’s doing nothing wrong. Also, she told me if I would of shook their hands, that I probably would of made new friends but, she said that when I came out of the car like a bull, they got scared. :O) he he he. You see, she just can’t admit that she messed up. She rather paint another picture of the situation and come out looking like a complete FOOL!

My wife was ALWAYS a very jealous and insecure woman. Back in the day, I couldn’t even have coffee with my cousin without her losing her mind. Then she pulls this???

My conclusion is that might be progressing through the tunnel a bit. When I talk to her about our R, she just hangs up on me. No more talks of divorce. I don’t think she ever went in the first place. She has become yet, another personality. It appears that she wants to be by herself and she’s a little withdrawn with little bouts of anger. She has always been a VERY proud person so seeing any kind of remorse from her will be difficult. She knows that this situation has caused a PERMANENT gap between her mother and I. I can always forgive her mother, but there will be NO, ABSOLULTEY NO reconcilement between us. I can support my wife because she is going through her MLC, but her mother, is NOT. She supported and encouraged all the damage! She tried to encourage her daughter to start dating and find someone better. Now, that she sees that everything is backfiring, now she is having a change of heart. When I first met my wife, I remember clearly the words of her mother telling me “I have a natural HATRED towards men”. Here is a woman that comes from a track record of 2 divorces! First husband beat the crap out of her, and second husband(wife’s dad) cheated and left her before my W was born. My mother in law’s own family, brother sisters, cousins etc etc CANT STAND HER! All my counselors, friends, pastors, neighbors have said that mother in law HAS to go! As long as she’s around, I have NO chance!

Her mother is a complete effing NUT!

And if you are saying “damn, this guy hates his MIL!!!” My answer is... DAMN SKIPPY!

IF and when my wife decides to reconcile and give it another go, she WILL have to chose either to stay with her mother, or get a home of our own. With both make pretty decent salaries and I know we can make it. So, she has ALLOT of thinking to do. My W is also a very SMART woman. I’m hoping she comes to her senses.

I have read many articles and how to handle MLC situations. One big rule is, if your spouse wants out, let HER leave. In this situation, since we lived in her moms home, she decided to kick ME out! So, kicking me out and having mom loving her MLC and supporting it, makes it look like I’m kind of screwed, huh?!? LOL.

I really hope I’m seeing some positive signs here.

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

I hope all of your kids had a great first day at school!