WAS and I decided to recommit to our marriage in late Oct '10. If you remember we were staying with her parents. Well at that time she was in her own place and had left the kids and me with her parents. Things were great for a while (2 months) Until I found her sneaking out in the middle of the night, her coming home late from work, texting him openly were a few of her actions. It was a turbulent time to say the least. I asked her to move out if she wanted to continue her affair. No was what I got every time. I didn't have the resources to do so myself. After 3 months of living hell she came to me and said PA was over and how sorry she was she put me through that. Things seemed fine and we went on from there. We did many things as a family and as a couple. Then this past Feb. she started distancing herself from me and the kids. One day she fell asleep with her phone on her chest in bed. It was vibrating, I picked it up and read a text from her to a friend concerning how I was living in denial about our marriage and how the kids would decide who they would want to live with. I blew up, told her if this is the way we rebuild a marriage I no longer wanted any part of it. She left that evening and didn't come back til the next afternoon. She was home for several hrs hiding out in our room. Then she came out to the living room and took my hand to lead me into our bedroom. Crying she told me her friend thinks my wife may be bi-polar and that all of this may be because of it.
She went to see a Psyc. and was diagnosed with mixed bipolar and manic depression. He prescribed med.s in which she was told may take a while to get to the right levels for her to notice positive changes. The only changes the kids and I seen where her sleeping all the time. Moving forward to June is when the stitch above came to light. She told me all of her unhappiness was because of me. She didn't love me and that I disgusted her when I touched her. She tried to validate everything she was doing because of me and her horrible marriage. That is when I went dark and until two days ago when she contacted me.
I realize I wasn't ready for the move in together. I stopped DBing and was smacked in the face for it. All my boundaries I had continued decided on were broken and all I could do was watch it happen. So towards the end of our “reconciliation” I started to become emotionally ready for the end to come. It was the fact she involved our kids that had me tore up. These 3 months I have thought about giving up on anything to do with her. However, if the diagnoses really played a part in her unhappiness and it wasn’t me as she has said it was, I have thought we may still have a chance. I’m not sure how to go about this. To be honest I don’t want to be hurt again or have the kids see the turmoil that occurred again.
Perhaps I need to take a deep breath and calm down. Yes the contact was positive, but I may be looking into it farther than it really is.
Me 44 WAW 37 S 14 D 12
M 18 yrs T 20 yrs WAS 7-27-09 WAS #2 6-10-11
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."
