IB and Antonia - the joy returns eventually, but my godness it takes its time about it.
I relate to everything you both said - their leaving us with the work and burdens, and the financial worries, and living it up with OW. Or apparently so. But I am not there any more, at last.
We gradually become someone else, authentically, through and through. And it is an attractive person, because we are realistic, tough, and independent.
We can bail out of this process and go grab a security blanket, but just like getting fit and losing weight require sustained effort, so, much more, does working through this and healing. When you are healed you will get your joy back. if you don't, come and beat me up!
It is the healing that takes the time.
IB my eldest son got married 9 months post bomb - what should have been a day of joy was, let us say, very,very hard. But much later a friend told me that I became her role model that day for how I handled it, and it enabled her to get through her daughter's wedding, with her xh! [And i thought I was hanging in there by the skin of my teeth]
It was a wonderful wedding and now I remember the good bits. Including a fab hat!
I am not sure that life is always meant to be easy, but we expect it to be easier than this, that is for sure. I do find though that I no longer sweat the small stuff. Not worth it.
