Thanks for the "pep talk," Chaos. It's really good to know that other people have seen the psychoses of the WAS and can see it as much as I'm beginning to see it. (By the way, I used to own "Milo Goes to College" on vinyl. Wish I still had it...)
It began to really sink in when I vented in my "Journal of Progress," a Word doc that I've been filling since the A first began. For one thing, my W accuses me of "holding on" to the idea of our R working out when SHE'S the one who called ME a few weeks ago because SHE said she was having trouble letting go of "great things" about our M! For a second thing, the way she said, "I'm sorry you're upset, but I don't want you to think that R with OM is something that it's not" just really seems asinine to me. As though the fact that she left me to pursue OM isn't upsetting in itself....LOL!
Yes, I do feel that I acquired my info with a lot of confirmation bias. I'm at the point where I realize that every A has its own set of events and changes. Sure, the basic script and psychology is often the same throughout each A. But as to particular nuances? I have yet to see how this thing's going to play out in my own situation. I would, however, agree that she does not appear to be thinking rationally. Like I said, she's said one thing one minute, another thing the next -- it's been an absolute rollercoaster ride ever since I chose to hop on.
Also, my speech was an attempt to gain control. However, it was mostly for my own health and attempts to GAL. I can't function having to be around that nonsense -- as much as I love my W, I choose not to be a part of it. I will admit that part of it has to do with Delis' "passion trap" -- it's more likely that my W will feel drawn to me because she will detect that she no longer has "control" over me. Not that this is the goal, of course. I just want to "experiment and monitor results." If I detach and remove my anxiety-filled attempts to "win her back at any cost," this route will probably prove to be the best one. If not...well, then I guess our M really wasn't worth saving, was it?
If I detach and remove my anxiety-filled attempts to "win her back at any cost," this route will probably prove to be the best one. If not...well, then I guess our M really wasn't worth saving, was it?