A new perspective???

[AntoniaB]

Oh my, your resiliency is so NOT gone!! You'd never be making it day to day if you didn't have your resiliency. I think you figure because you feel lost and sad and upset and all those things that those emotions mean you aren't strong or resilient, but seriously, you are. If you weren't resilient, you'd have given up by now and probably gotten into drugs or alcohol or some other crutch to cope, or you might not even be here, if you know what I mean.

Now joy and hope? I hear you on that one. I think I have moments of joy--one of my kittens just put her play mouse inside her water dish to indicate "Mom I want more water." This made her water all purple from the mouse dye. That gave me temporary joy. Then I thought, "Oh yeah. I'm in a nightmare that never ends."

(I'm being a drama queen to some extent there to make a point).

I think you are having small moments of happiness or even just peace, if you really think about it. But unbounded joy that lasts and lasts? Probably not. You're still too traumatized. But it won't be gone forever.

And hope, well, that's tied to resiliency isn't it? Because if you didn't have hope you could make it, you'd be a basket case. You might THINK you're a basket case, but you probably can still work, pay the bills, run your errands, and be a friend and family member. If you were a wreck, you'd be like you were probably in week one, crying nonstop, unable to sleep, eat, focus, or do anything.

You're doing better than you think. I am too. I think we need to constantly remind ourselves of that. You're doing the best you can with the hand you've been dealt.