Youngster's WAW Chooses OM, Now She's in Love!

[aeolianchaos]

W C F,

'm tired of feeling so attached to someone who runs into A's with other men, then stands there and tells me how we BOTH don't measure up to her UNMATCHABLE standards.

Good. You should feel tired of it. It isn't good for you.

You are really informed about a lot of the stuff that A's do to people in them. They think like teenagers in 'love.' Just because she has now decided that neither of you are 'on her level' doesn't mean she's right or even thinking reasonably.

My W dropped the same crap on me. "I want an equal.. a partner" I think that you probably are quite aware of the irony of this statement from someone who is currently violating their own integrity through their actions. So I want to tell you this: Don't take it personally.. Because this is her, dealing with her stuff and projecting like hell onto the people around her.

I see someone who is aggressively looking to change their situation by taking responsibility for themselves and their choices.

I see a WAS blaming other people for their grievances.

You can't do anything about the WAS, but you've already begun working to change your own situation.

You have to be the WCF that you might dare to become.

Alright. Pep talk's over. (Actually.. Pep Talk is a great song by my favorite band, the Descendents. Check it out..)

However, this conversation did not go as I had planned. I either expected an expression of love for me (well, no, I didn't really expect this) or a vehement expression of love for OM. Instead, I got a rebuke of us both.

This happens. It's good not to have too much expectations about the other persons reaction. Do you feel like your speech was an attempt to regain some control over the situation?

Now she no longer expresses fog-like symptoms for OM, just feelings of disdain for us both.

Wonder how she feels about herself, eh? Not that you should mind-read that, but its kind of worth pondering. And not acting on.

This all has flown in the face of what I've expected from cases of A's

Life is full of surprises and everything is different.

Is it really flying in the face of what you know?

Is it possible that you read the stuff you read with a confirmation bias towards what you wanted to see happen?

Based on the data you have acquire through reading - would you agree that her behavior does not represent someone thinking too rationally? Just because they don't have the 'fog' of infatuation, certainly they can still engage in a whole plethora of cognitive distortions nonetheless.

And one last thing - WAW's say the craziest $h!t sometimes. As I said before Dont take it personally. It's their perspective and you can examine it for any possible truth (anger issues, controlling behavior, sex stuff.. whatever), but when someone devalues you as a person - they are devaluing their own experiences and its a good path to eventual depression and unhappiness. Hang in there, man. I suspect that you've got a path ahead of you still - just try to make sure you're steering your boat on it's course regardless of what your WAW does.