my soon to be ex moved out yesterday and today. she was planning on having a bunch of people to help her, but no one showed up and the people who did had back problems. there was no way i was going to let her or her mother carry that heavy stuff....even though i despise my old MIL...what kind of man would i be to let them do it. so, i moved everything out of the house and loaded the truck by myself.
she pretty much took everything to her new place. she took all the beds, lamps, dishes, furniture, tables (except the kitchen table)...you get the point. she's still not finished up moving. she told me it's gonna take her a while. i told her that i was going to change the locks tonight, like i told her before. she just came over to give my oldest her shoes for school tomorrow. i didn't know she was coming, but she tried to unlock the door and walk it....and it didn't work. in a way, that is a good feeling.
i've been planning to "go dark" as soon as she moved out. sadly, it's taking longer than expected, but i'm going dark anyway. she had all of last week to pack and she had the weekend to get it all moved over. she decided not to pack. now that the locks have been changed she is going to have to work around me from now on. i'm not answering phone calls or texts...unless it's an emergency. she's basically gonna have to catch me when i'm home if she wants to get her stuff....which i'm getting a life and am not at home as much as i used to be. plus, my mother is flying in tomorrow and we are gonna be running around trying to replace all the stuff that wife (what do i refer to her as?) took with her. i feel like a jerk doing this....and i know what she is going to say...she'll give me some lecture on how we've been married over ten years and this house is half hers. i don't know exactly what the law says, but she moved out and only my name is on the deed. no papers have been filed, but i'm waiting for her to do it...i'm certainly not going to.
as i mentioned earlier she moved out. when it came time to drive the truck over to her new place they couldn't find the person who was going to drive it...they asked me and i said yes. i've never been to her place before, so i followed her there. when i pulled in to the parking lot i started to panic. i handed the keys to one of the guys that was helping her and started walking toward my house. i couldn't handle it anymore. her mom was driving by and asked me if i wanted a ride, which i said no. then the OW's husband (that's still weird to say, i wonder if he knows?) came by and told me to get in his truck, which i told him no...i didn't want to cause a scene, i just need to walk home. about two miles away from my house my MIL came by to see if i wanted a ride, of course i said no. she's been trying to get my wife and i to split up for years...i would think she would have some self-respect and quit pretending she cares.
it's a little over seven miles from her place to mine. i didn't care. i was feeling the worst pain i have ever felt before. all i knew was that if i kept putting one foot in front of the other i'd be fine. i knew if i could make it home, then i could get over her. plus, i thought of it like baseball...when you get hurt you walk it off. i didn't want to be home and think about it, so i figured this would keep me active for some time.
needless to say, i made it home. i'm a big guy (6 ft, 300 lbs) and i take a medication that makes me sweat a lot. so i dehydrate quickly. it was hot as could be, so by the time i got home i couldn't sweat anymore. and i have huge blisters on my feet. but it was worth it. i was severely dehydrated, but i made it. i feel that i kept my pride by not accepting rides from the very people who have encouraged my wife to leave, and they never saw me cry.
my wife seemed nice to me while we were moving. the nicest she's been in awhile. i guess getting away from me is a good thing for her. not for me. i kept dreaming about waking up alone...and when i did it took me an hour to get out of bed...i couldn't stand to go into my living room and see everything gone.
i've been on an emotional roller coaster. i have my girls the next couple nights, so that's good. i've noticed that reading stuff on the forums is depressing. it think the reality of her never coming back is starting to sink in.
