Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

H still not home from his fun weekend. I didn't call him once, so I am proud of myself. He texted me to say he would be late, whatever that means. Then he called to say goodnight to the kids, who he hasn't seen since Thursday (hope he feels good about himself). We had a family dinner tonight without him because he was having dinner with friends. When he called, I said I was busy with things and had to go. I reminded him that I have an appointment tomorrow and he said he has to meet with his boss. It was my impression that he would choose to go to MC tomorrow if he didn't have to meet with his boss.

He seemed to be in a very good mood when he called which I should consider a success. Normally when he leaves for a couple nights he comes back in a very fowl mood, as if it pains him to walk back through the door after having fun and no responsibility to be greeted by a nagging, crazy, emotional wife. I will not greet him that way this time. I am trying to decide if I should greet him AAI everything is fine and I missed him or should I be sleeping and ignore him. I suppose, if it isn't too late, I will greet him AAI. If it is late, I will not wait up, because that is when my emotions get out of control.

I didn't have a "good" day but that was more due to worry than anything else. As far as my bad days go, it wasn't too bad. I was still able to get out of bed and go do some things. I smiled a little. I went running. I did a little cleaning. And the kids and I spent a few hours swimming and picnicing.

I am feeling a little hopeless today. I am worried that my LRT is making him feel like it is ok for him to leave because he knows that I am going to be fine. I am also worried that he is willing to stick around for a while not because he thinks something might change, but that I will agree to an amicable separation in a couple months when nothing does change.

Should I push these worries aside and try to just be thankful that he is here so I can better DB? I think Laurie might have told me not to think too much into the reason why he does things and just accept them as they are, primarily because reasons can easily change, and true reasons are often hidden.