Just discovered affair please help

[inpain]

I know just what you mean VC, that is what is exactly what is happening - it is all going around my head over and over like a film - I do feel as though I need to feel the feelings it causes though - I don't know if that makes sense - but it's as though if I'm not feeling the pain then I'm just numb and empty and then I think I will just let him off too easilly - I can't explain it - it sounds crazy!

I hear you on the detective work but I just can't think of any way of finding out the truth - I only have OW's email address and I really don't think he is having an A right now - I do think he is telling the truth about that - just the last 2 years I don't know about! ugh, 2 years, that makes me feel sick.