the above post did scare and worry me a little. its not that i can afford a C, i just thought i was using the DV classes to help me out, and had been picking up a lot of book knowledge and tools that i could use.
do i use these tools yet, not its not habit yet to actively listen, and to reflect my wifes feelings back to her, ive been selfish and controlling for my whole life, so as much as i want, the behaviors dont change over night just cause i want them too, i have to work on it and use self discipline and control which i have never really worried about before. This^^^ is why I suggest getting a c.
one of the things my class had us do this week was write a letter to ourselves as if we were the spouse. my wife read this and thought i was in her head is was so close to accurate that she was a little upset that i knew all of these things about her, yet i still didnt really know her by the actions i still show her.
im going to re-read all the advice in my thread, make sure im not missing something, but if anyone is still seeing some behavior jumping out at them that im still showing and doing in my updates, please tell me, im not here to win. i want to be happy.
Sounds good. But don't resist the idea of getting one on one help. Like I said, I did. Most people here have at one point or another.
Like you said, life long habits are hard to break. But the stakes are high.
Why not increase your chances for success as much as possible?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
