Me too Cam.....It is because you are human, and you did the best you could with the tools that you had at the time....
I would assume that nothing you did was intentional, to cause any hurt or pain...
Originally Posted By: cam
I understand everything, and yet I still can't stop looking back and hating myself and not forgiving myself.
Whether you choose for this to be positive or negative, it is the reality of these situations Cam.
What I can tell you is...
That this....is a normal part of YOUR journey.
It is this reflection on who you were in your relationships, that allows you to start building the foundations for your future relationships.
Those things, that you see in your past actions. Those are the things that you take a long hard look at, and decide if they are the things that YOU want yourself to be like.
What seems unbearable, will actually become a gift for you.
You get to see the blueprints for Cam, and then redesign and reconstruct things as you WANT them, not as they need to be.
And this, is part of the rebuilding process....
Identifying all of the old parts that need replaced....
This is what is done for you while your spouse if off on her own journey....
You don't need her to tell you who YOU are, the same as she doesn't need you to tell her who she is...
It is a conundrum , until it is a gift that you give each other...
IF.....you choose for it to be one.
Feel everything around , put those things in perspective, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off , and start working on those new plans for you....
