Youngster's WAW Chooses OM, Now She's in Love!

[Truegritter]

but I don't want her to think that I'm not here for her, either.

What are you there for her for?

What is it you think she needs from you that you need to be there for right now?

I'm not necessarily being nice to her because I want her back but because I want to get in touch with that "guilty" side of her, the side that's rational and actually does feel remorse.

This sounds like you are trying to control the situation through guilt.

And

That you think if she feels guilty she might come back?

Guilt applied directly by the LBS usually is received with anger. Then followed by your anger.

You haven't been through the anger phase yet West.

I might submit you are still in denial. Your W is having an affair and your R will not have any chance until she decides to end it and work on your M.

Those are the brutal facts.

and this

a lot of me really wants to not be friends with her anymore because this whole thing tears me up so badly inside.

causes you pain and inhibits your healing and growth.

The best chance, THE BEST CHANCE you have to save your M is to save yourself first.

That is what you control.

DETACH. DETACH. DETACH.

From a place of clarity you will find yourself again.

Then maybe. Maybe. She will find you again.