Cam - I've been reading your posts but never posted to you before. Please stop beating yourself up, I'm seriously worried about you.
I felt the same way about my W - but SHE decided the path she wants to take, we can't make someone else follow our path, we can show them the path we are on and hope they want to join us.
You sound like a great guy, if you are genuine about your changes then you will be fine, it will hurt for a while but you will be a better person and you will find what you want with someone who appreciates you for what you are today.
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12