Wife no longer in love with me - Part 2

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I know why I was like that now......I was unhappy, little things would stress me out, I couldn't cope with a lot and i stupidly took it out on my wife. Work pissed me off, I was sick of working so much and putting so much into it, and worrying about the future and where my career would take me. I look back and think I was mildly depressed, I was always a downer and I wrecked experiences for my W and I that should have been great. She even said that a couple of weeks ago that if I couldn't cope with pressure and stress of work, then how would I be if we had had a baby.

The thing is I'm not like that anymore......I couldn't care less about work, yes it's important but it's not my world. I am starting a new role soon, which will see me work less hours and less stress. It's just all too late though, I should have done it last year. I have the answers, I know I would never behave like that again, I am aware of the trigger signals that made me do that, I was months ago, but yet I still don't get a chance. My W would rather cut her losses and quit the M than work on it. She has blocked her feelings for me and that's what is making me so sad and so lonely and so messed up. She was my whole world, and yes I didn't always make her feel like that, and I didnt always tell her, but I feel I didn't know how. I never grew up in an affectionate household and I guess I carried those traits into my marriage. My W needs a lot of love and affection and I didn't give it to her as much as I should.
I understand everything, and yet I still can't stop looking back and hating myself and not forgiving myself.