A new perspective???

[irishblessings]

I had lunch with a friend from work today who lost her husband to cancer a few years ago. She is still grieving. We talked about the group I went to last night and she asked me why I felt I needed or wanted to go. It was a great question. I realized that going, for me, felt like I was taking care of this part of me. Not going, again for me, feels like I am not attending to the wound. Like I am in denial of the injury. I don't want this experience to define me - but by not caring for this part of me, well it feels as though I am in some type of denial. Attending the classes makes me feel as though I am tending to the wound.

I had a rough day today. Son and I are struggling in our relationship. My sister and oldest daughter came over and said they were concerned that I wasn't my same positive self. I tried to explain to them that I am exhausted and overwhelmed that I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. They said "whatever- we want the old IB back.". Me - I just want to feel ok again. I just want to feel as though I am accomplishing something positive - anything!!

Maybe posting here today is a positive thing they will never know. Thanks so much to this board for listening and providing feedback. Tomorrow I will feel better!