Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

Thanks dbmod. Ya, today was a bad day but as far as bad days go... it was manageable and moderate. Plus, H didn't see me that way and hasn't seen that side of me for weeks now, not even in body language. I have hidden it well and when I can't hide it, I get busy and/or get lost.

My actions over the last couple weeks have undoubtedly made my H pursue me more. He is curious about what I am up to, more comfortable talking to me, and his mood has ever so slightly improved. We have even managed to be intimate.

I have certainly been asking myself Laurie's question a lot lately, "will this bring him closer or push him away?" And so far, each time I do, I am able to stop myself from doing something stupid.

About the GAL's not completing me as a person... i have to say I believe this even on good days. I have recently read "Hold Me Tight", but even before I read it I believed that emotional dependance is what marriage is all about. You will see from some of my beginning posts that I was really struggling with people telling me that I needed to detach myself. I also had a conversation about that with Laurie and she helped me look at it a different way. I whole-heartedly believe that I need my partner just as much as I needed my parents when I was a child and more so than I need my parents as an adult. We are bonded.

H has been giving me cues that he would like more conversation. I never initiate conversation but I am all ears when he does. And I never give an opinion unless he insists and even then, they are neutral opinions. He has criticized me on the neutral opinions but I am still going to choose the lesser of the two evils on that one. If I offer an opinion he doesn't like it is worse than no opinion at all.

I think I have managed to attract him because I am actually listening to him and validating his opinion, I am being very mysterious about what I am up to, and I have not pursued him one bit.

I have chosen Laurie's advice of all others and have been successful at weeding out the bad advice so far, but you are right, turning too many directions at once makes one dizzy.

Thanks again for talking with me. I do have hope and I am learning to take care of myself.