Thank you 25. I am trying to keep as much normal as usual. Trying to keep some consistency. I am just floored your MIL never called you. I am trying to point out the "good". He payed the bill, etc. But, have made the same mistake you pointed out that you did too. Shame on me...I realize that now. Selfish of me and won't do it again.
25-Part of me is ready to move on and part of me wants to save my M. Spoke with H today about bills. During this convo. many tears and regrets are shed from H. Me too. Pain is so close to the surface when we talk. Says he doesn't want D. But, he doesn't deserve us. Whatever. Says he can't explain why hes done what hes done. Says none of it has been worth it. Cant face the kids. No one will ever forgive him - I said - not true. But, I said I can't fight his battle. I told him I have waited and fought for him now its his turn. TOld me he is not happy and never will be. Asked if he could call me and talk sometime. I said sure. And, that was the conversation. Just enough for me to get sucked into his vortex again.
Can I get some feedback.
SIGH....yi yi yi....
he is one confused dude. Geez Life, I have to think about all that.
Um, one thing I can say is he's not done sounding.
Okay sure, he could be playing you. But does he know you filed?
If he knows and he said all this to you, I'm even more sure he's not done.
(meaning he didn't say it to keep you from filing b/c you already did)
His shame is paralyzing him if we believe his words. But that's also an easy way to avoid the work of repairing relationships....
I think you said the truth. It's up to HIM now and if he wants to check out...so be it.
But his kids should be worth the effort however humbling. I refuse to say the cliche "kids are resilient"
but I will say, they are forgiving.
I have to ponder....you have an unusual situation, as did I.
I totally get why you don't want to be sucked into the vortex and like you, I felt relief knowing h was going to be gone for chunks of time. But then you wonder, "what IF?" And he wonders too. I had a feeling he wasn't "all happy" with OW or the situation. What's up with the drinking or does he even mention it? I wouldn't at this point if I were you...I think!
For now, maybe it's just got to be all about YOU doing what makes YOU healthy...
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
