NSD - Man, I am so sorry to hear about your discovery.
Does this change your DB strategy at all? You mentioned you were GAL'ing before this discovery. Do you still plan to do that?
I think you are in the position where you want to be able to look yourself in the mirror and honestly say you did everything to save the M. You want to be able to look your D in the eye someday and tell her the same.
It sounds like you found out what you needed to know or didn't want to know by snooping. You probably don't need to continue the snooping. It's not going to make you feel any better at this point.
It'll be your call on how you decide to approach the A. Unless you have the hard evidence or your W admits, don't expect the truth from her. You already know she's been dishonest with you. It's good you are meeting with a L next week. Get as much information as you can.
