Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

Low point passed for today. The longer this goes on the more I think I may need meds to smooth out my crazy emotional swings.

H pursued me a little last night but I was too crazy inside to notice (he couldn't tell what I was going through because I am getting good at AAI). I mentioned that I have an appt on Mon w/o specifically saying it is a MC session. He new though and said that he has a meeting w/ his boss that he can't miss, and he seemed to feel bad about it. I actually don't want him to go to this session either because I would like to ask the MC what he thinks about all of the questions I asked on my long posts here a couple days ago.

After this next session, however, there will be little purpose in me continuing alone because this MC specializes in making couples reconnect through conversation, something that would be difficult to do if H isn't there. I am going to ask the MC if he can teach me how to get the conversations started and I can do it on my own.

It may work because I have come along enough in DB that H is willing to talk to me and I am capable of listening and validating, two of the things the MC teaches. The MC also teaches how to search deep to discover what you are really feeling about your partner and what you really expect of them, which I have also already done for myself. Hopefully, if H is still unwilling to attend the sessions, I can be taught how to help him explore these things without him knowing I am doing it.