The response from your W is a positive. You have to base your decisions on the information you have. I don't think you are enabling her at all. You are demonstrating your willingness to work with her for what is in the best interest of your S.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa