The Next Phase

[betterman77]

I've decided to move over to this forum because the W and I have come to a separation agreement and we're just waiting for the mediator to write it up.

I'm pretty satisfied with what we agreed to. I will have my kids 50% of the time they will remain in the same school with all of their friends. I will also be keeping my original family home. Everything else is just money and I really don't care about that. My children's happiness and well being is what is most important as well as being the best father I can for them.

I have mixed feelings now that we have reached this point. I know this separation will hurt them but I can't go on living with my W. She has re-written our entire lives together and has blamed me for everything. The two A's she did have she half heartedly apologized for and thinks they had nothing to do with the breakdown of our M. I've owned all of my mistakes and have worked on them with an IC for the past year. I am proud of the man and father I have become and I will only get better.

When talking with my C we both agreed that she is in a MLC and has to take this journey on her own. I've accepted the fact that this is how it's going to be for now and there is nothing I can do about it. It feels like a weight has been lifted off off my shoulders and I can move forward with my life in a positive direction.

At this time I really feel pity for my W. We have two beautiful children, a nice house in a great neighborhood and she had a husband willing to do anything to make it work even after her two affairs. She thinks the grass is going to be greener on the other side but without her willing to do the work on herself (which she most definitely needs) then she will keep living with the same martyr and victim mentality she has her whole life and nothing will change for her.

I know that in the future I can look my children in the eyes and tell them that their father tried everything he possibly could to try and keep this family together. I also know that I can let her walk away from this M without any regrets and wonder if I could have done something differently. I did everything I could.