H's Sudden Awakening-???

[25yearsmlc]

Happy 11th Tipper.

I will respond to your earlier above post, when I have more time but I hope you have a good

preferably sober day so you both can remember it. IF not, okay

You have said you CAN live with his going to bars and still drinking. While I don't abide by that for ME

and what I saw in my life growing up with an alcoholic dad as well, if you can,

then YOU will have to live with those consequences. But yes, the boundaries you set are for what you will tolerate and not rules for him

although they can overlap. IOW, if you know you cannot tolerate being around him drunk

then he can't be drunk around you....make sense?

So, are you getting clearer with that? And what is it that you cannot tolerate? What will you actually DO if that boundary is broken?

IOW, what are some of those boundaries you speak of?

So far, I am only hearing what you WILL live with, that you previously said you would not.

That doesn't sound so much like boundaries as it does caving in. BUT BUT BUT

maybe that's not true. You have to dig deep to figure out which is which.

We all do. I have put up with a 2 year MLC and would not have thought I could or would do so if you had asked me 10 years ago.


I'm glad I changed my boundary but there's always a tension or fine line between caving in and surrendering ourselves too much

and simply revising our stand on something and putting our pride aside in a good way.

The key is knowing when we are doing which....and facing the truth about those choices.

If we are not making healthy choices, we have to own that and change it. Clarity and courage are really important. (Hence the Serenity Prayer's wording).

Make sense?