Johnnie
many of us have reached that tipping point. i know i did, probably earlier than you did. And its ok.

but this is a big decision, THE decision.

i would suggest taking a couple days to carefully consider. let the emotions die down a little. breathe and take your time, there is no rush. and yes, i understand the pain is great.

a discussion with your W on your thoughts may be appropriate, verify who she is working with, etc. This may be non-DB, but i feel necessary to prove you are making the correct assumptions. others may say differently, and thats ok.

if the job is with OM, then verbalize your boundary and allow her to decide knowing the this is your boundary.

of course, you're decision may not change, or may become stronger. this is all acceptable.

its a tough place to be. and i'm sorry that you've gotten there.

"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".