How are you sure he's not still in contact with OW? What sort of transparency plan have the two of you set up, if any? The recivism rate for infidelity is very high if precautions (no-contact letter, transparency, marriage counseling, etc.) aren't put in place.
He sounds like he's still fogged out to me; are you sure he's not still in contact with her?
And what is it about you that he wants to "change," and do you feel it is a legitimate gripe, or just gaslighting?
