Longtime lurker, first time poster...

[soccerwife]

Also, I found that I never really accepted DBing fully until I saw that first little reward, my H actually pursued me in some VERY small way. but it was just enough for me to feel hopeful that he did still love me even if he didn't know it.

If you give yourself a timeline and set small goals, then reward yourself for your hard work, you will feel better... and then miraculously, you may see a tiny step from your H in the right direction (sometimes you really have to be looking hard). Once you see this, it is just like a switch gets turned on and everything falls into place, DBing becomes much easier, clearer, natural, rewarding.