I started reading this and didn't know exactly what you meant. But after I finished I realized. OMG. Time to rock the f'ing boat!!!
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He was in the room with her for part of the conversation, and they had some very lovey-type banter while I was on the phone with her.
Not Acceptable!!! This is your W!!!!!
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Already he's getting very possessive and whiny. He expressed dissatisfaction multiple times that she was on the phone with me, and he also informed her that she was no longer allowed to wear a t-shirt that she wears as a night shirt that used to belong to me. Oh, really, OM? YOU'RE jealous and insecure? You only stole a married woman away from a good relationship. Whatever might you have to fear? Friggin' jerk. I don't care how many nice things she says about him. He KNOWS what he did was wrong, and a person who KNOWS that can't be a very good person at all.
No he is NOT a good person. But I wouldn't assume he knows jack [censored].
But it also takes two to tango west. Take a good look at your W right now. Who she is NOW. Or better stated. What she is doing NOW. We often can't get the idea of who they were out of our head. So we completely ignore the reality of the situation.
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She talked about him to me during this conversation. She did mention that he "acts like a child" a lot of the time, but she also admitted in a very dreamy voice that "he makes me feel like the only girl in the whole world."
Again. Not acceptable at all.
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Well, as a positive note
There was nothing positive about any of this.
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Why would she bother to call me if she's got some guy at home who she can talk with all she wants? And why bother to call me about the separation stuff if she could have just texted me?
Why? I can't say for sure. But my guess? Because she does still care for you. BUT. And it's a big one. She DOES NOT respect you.
For her to do what she did in front of you shows ZERO respect.
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I'm cool with that.
Really? Even after your fear runs out?
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Like someone else on DB.com stated so eloquently, "by preserving the friendship, you always leave the door open to something more."
NOT when they are in an active A! NOT when she is rubbing your face in it.
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I'm not going to spend this whole time "waiting" for her. I'm done with that.
This is great! Now as I read this your W is your "only" correct?
So, you need to find your "man card" so to speak?
Putting your D in things is not going to give it to you. It's simply a process of obtaining courage and strength.
Now. I know I came across tough here. But a big thing to remember.
NONE of what I am saying means you start acting like an A'hole. Few words are needed. It means clear, strong boundaries.
YOU developing strength, compassion and honor. And then LIVING it.
There is a book recommended here "No more Mr. Nice Guy." I think it could be a good one for you.
I hope others give you suggestions as far as how to more clearly deliver the message.
Peace man.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
