Tad. Really? You had a glimpse of reality Tad. If only briefly, you had a glimpse. Think about it. You get the, "I'm done" speech a LOT!! Why is that Tad? Because she wants to convince herself. My suggestion? Do something different... respond with Ok. Or nothing. Why? Because she wants to convince herself. She is talking in circles and you do know that. It gets to you, but only when you get to close and try to figure it out.
There is no figuring it out. She can't. You can't. She might at some point, but for now, she cannot. Nothing you can do to change that but wait and see how it goes or walk away. Nothing more to find the answer to that question. Everything else is extra energy without return. Think about that Tad.
My suggestion is to focus on rebuilding your self-esteem. The stinging suggestion that you are fake? Hmm.. Could it be she is trying to get you to pursue? I suspect so, but likely a control thing and nothing more. See, she can continue the crazies as long as you are available as a plan B. She can get closer if she thinks you are friends. She can only try to bully you if she doesn't get her way (i.e. you to pursue and say you are friends). That behavior hurts you. It's toxic. It gets you down. You do NOT deserve that. Even for a moment. To change that, you have to think along the lines of she is doing what she does and you need to do what you do. She doesn't know any better how to handle things. You are learning quicker and have better tools. That does make you different. It doesn't make you fake.
Keep your perspective Tad. She is starting to flail to get your attention. Why? Because the dynamic changed. It changed because you changed it. Keep changing it for you Tad. Only for you and if she wants to follow she will at some point later. Figure out what to do with that later.
Maya Angelou once mentioned something that resonates with me.
Quote:
Author Maya Angelou has every reason to feel bitter. Raped as a child, then overwhelmed with guilt when her rapist, an uncle, was murdered by another family member, she was mute for several years. Still, she says she never felt bitterness toward her attacker.
"Although he was a child molester and abused me, I never hated him, and I'm glad of that," she says. "What I realized is that people do what they know to do -- not what you think they should know."
As an adult, she's continued that mind-set.
"If someone hurts my feelings or hurts me in any way, I think, 'This dummy, that's all he knew,' and I'm not going to carry this bitterness around with me. I will not give it a perch. I will not give it a place to live in me because I know that's dangerous."
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
