Youngster's WAW Chooses OM, Now She's in Love!

[Truegritter]

I made preserving the relationship at all costs for my own benefit more important than doing the RIGHT THINGS for the relationship.

Welcome to a club with a lot of members.

Do you now understand at what price this comes? It is worth it? It is healthy for you?

However, what I didn't realize was that by "arguing," I often adopted a very punishing and condescending tone.

When we sacrifice ourselves for a relationship it never comes out paying you back.

When it doesn't you get resentful? Angry?

And

I would feel self-righteous and would try to avoid blame.

Then

The fixing begins. People don't like to be fixed. She was making (and makes now) decisions that she thought would make her happy.

People don't make intentionally bad choices. It is how they look at their own situation and determine their own self preservation.

So understanding that, you can maybe get to a place of peace with what has happened here.

Ok West we got to the first layer of topsoil.

I understand that your motivation was not to rock the boat. To keep the peace.

Why? Why were you afraid of letting her feel the consequences of her own actions?

Why did you allow or choose to be the martyr?