I'm Far from perfect

[~¤DG¤~]

I understand how hard it is, but you MUST stop pursuing and you do need to practice patience. Like you, I am a very impatient person and this has been a very humbling experience for me.
Remember, these problems did not occur overnight, and they won't be fixed overnight either.
If you cannot handle speaking with her without going into R talk, then don't speak to her.

You are pushing her further and further to the door.