WAW, not sure how to proceed...

[dearme]

Have you considered she may be depressed? Just asking.
She isn't doing this to jerk your chain IMHO.

I have considered that...and I think that she probably is. She describes it as anxiety (she has to take xanax occasionally during the day to deal with what are essentially panic attacks that come on whenever she starts thinking about our situation, and also occasionally at night so that she can get to sleep), and I guess anxiety is obviously a critical element...but I think there is a strong vein of depression in there as well.

I guess there's a part of me that feels like "Hey, how come I'm the one that's for all intents and purposes getting dumped, but I'm managing to pull myself together, showing a positive attitude, and taking care of business, meanwhile this is her decision, her choice that divorce is the answer, and yet here she is anxious/depressed, barely doing anything around the house but still maintaining the motivation/ability to do the things that are solely for her?" I know that's probably not the best way to be thinking...but I guess I have to admit to myself (and maybe to her at some point) that it's starting to bother me that she's able to pull it together to work out and do yoga, keep herself looking pretty, socialize and party with her friends, but most of the work and responsibilities of maintaining the household have kind of been taken over by me. I've been willing to let it slide for the past couple of months for the sake of giving her her space and just focusing on me and the kids and getting done what needs to get done...but I guess I'm feeling like there needs to be a discussion/re-negotiation of what needs to get done around here...