Thanks LP.

I think I've come up with a final on my email to my W. I will be talking to D8 about this as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have talked to D8 about her birthday a couple times.

While I know she's disappointed that I would not be there, she knows I will call her that day.

I tried calling last night to talk to her but the phone was busy.

The reality is, my presence there is more likely to be harmful for her, then my not being there.

KD"

~~~~~~~~~~~

But I might go with something more simple, like you stated LP.