Aww Queen Please don't let me words to DG haunt you. They are meant to inspire you.
IMHO we all should realize that we, in actuality, don't NEED anything in our m. Everything is a want. Our "needs" take away the power we posses as individuals. Spouses and marriage should make the individual stronger, but if we are not careful, we can lose the "individual" part in the process. It's a fine balance.
"I am totally worth love and dont NEED validation from you. I want it, but I'll be okay if it doesn't happen".
This is NOT a bad thing. This is a realization that you are worth something. When our s leave, so does our self esteem. Having this feeling is saying we are worth it.
The fact that you want to say this to your h means you're don't quite believe it yet. You want to say it to him because you WANT HIM to believe it.
Trust me I get it.. I was in the shower the other day and I said those same things.. and then I found myself going off in a tangent saying even MORE stuff. Just telling my w what I thought of her. How I thought she was an a$$. It was very therapeutic.
My realization - that I SHOULDN'T say those things to my w because 1) she doesn't give a sh!t, and because 2) I'm expecting change and that's not what its about. 3) Some of that was out of anger and that's not who i want to be.
It's about me BELIEVING THAT ABOUT MYSELF. When you believe it you won't care about saying anything to h. No words, you just start living that way. I feel that you won't even want to because it just won't matter. Because it's no longer about the spouse and his perceptions, it's about you and who you are as a person.
I realize this easier said that done.. Trust me.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
