Thanks, jb. (( )) to you too as I know you had a uncomfortable interaction with your W last night and a conversation this morning that you felt wasn't your best DB'ing.

Anyway, I feel a bit pathetic for being so negative and wasting my afternoon writing my H a letter, but I didn't get much sleep so that probably explains it. Got to love that rollercoaster. tired

Yes, I do think it's reasonable to not want to be in a M with the threat of D always looming.

But I have to take responsibility for my choices and for my mistakes, or perhaps for what turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I fully own that I have contributed to this sitch due to my fears.

As for his family pattern, I'm not sure I can be the one to break it. I think that might be his decision. Very much like I choose not to hit my children even though that is what I grew up with but I do know what you mean.

I think I will tweak the letter before (or if) I decide to post it. I need to summarize because...um...not that anyone would have noticed... whistle but I tend to babble on a tad too much sometimes.