the LOL is not meant to be a joke or anything, its something i have always done. i think its mostly to laugh at myself for never doing something before or to take some of the seriousness out of what i say? im not 100% sure to be honest i dont realize im doing it most times.
as far as her job and control, its my belief system that is holding me up being more supportive. not saying my belief is right at all, but when she spends so much time away from the family, we have 3 kids S7,S5,D3 and her having another on the way to add to our family, and doesnt bring back anything for all of the work put in, i see it as not as valuable. again, a belief system i have that if your working its helping to support the family, something i know i have to change.
and as far as critisizing what she doesnt do... i know thats a HUGE issue for me. ive never been good at telling her good job, or celebrating the small things, instead always picking at why she didnt do more, or think about calling me when she got home and was so tired she passed out... i have been working really hard to not do those things to her, and bring them more here, yes i have done a lot of bad things to her and i was not helpful... and i no longer want to keep score, i can be who i am, hopefully working towards a person i can be proud of, that someone would be wanting and willing to be in a relationship with.
i know i need to do a better job in my expectations, of myself and her.
