You're not allowing this (her, missing you) dynamic to GROW and DEVELOP.
Agreed!!!!!!!!
Denver, You are close to doing exactly what needs to be done but are still dabbling with what "feels right" or what "feels good".
You know what Sandi's signature says.......
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
I may have read this incorrectly, but I really think that W sounded a bit nervous while talking to me tonight. She started the convo out by asking me, 'is it okay if I ask you?'
You are still analyzing your convo's with your W........this activity is taking your focus off of YOU and placing it on your W.
This is exactly why you are not "detached".
Just because you do not have R talk or OP talk does not matter.
There should be "NO TALK".........
NOW, IMO your W is starting to get the message up there when she asked "if it was okay to ask you."
Why did you not tell her "NO" ???????
Fear........pure, plain and simple.
Fear that she may decide to go through with the divorce....right??????
This would have been yet another perfect opportunity to state "why" you cannot have casual contact with her. It is also an opportunity to state that you are open to working on a R with her if and when she is ready to commit to working on it.
BTW, this right here is pain. VVVVVVVVVVV
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
As with the contact on Thursday and Friday, this leaves me wondering what is going through my W's head.
The "wondering what is going through her head" is painful.
When you have contact.......you ponder what she says.....
When you ponder.......you experience pain.
Want to stop the pain?????
Stop the contact.
You are so close Denver..................
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
