25, I didn't say it before, but your last post was very encouraging and inspiring. I truly appreciate your support, not just because you seem to have my back :), but your words couldn't have come at a better time to steer me in the proper direction. I am worried about the consequences, but then again, that goes to show that I really need to dig deep and trust that our Lord knows best. LITB, you weren't kidding about the unfolding story in your new thread. Keep us posted. I hope that your's and my wife see strong men, decisive men in us, and perhaps give them pause.
UPDATE 6:15pm I can't do another consultation with the lawyer I like, so they're suggesting I plop down $4k for the retainer. I am going ahead with the plan with every last cent of my credit cards and some of my savings. It's for my son and our assurance - it's worth it. It's going to be a very tight month, but we'll see. Still, my appointment is on Wednesday morning, so I'm not sure what to tell my wife until then. I don't want to seem like I'm purposefully stalling or something, you know? I just don't know what to say tomorrow.
Now, you could give her a chance first. But. TBH. Not sure about it.
You could say "W. I've decided to talk to a L to keep S here while your gone. If you would like to reconsider it would be nice to do this without the need for a court order. However I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect out S."
Let others chime in on this. Not sure.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
How about: "W, I'm talking to my lawyer about next steps, though I'm open to us working something out. I don't see why E shouldn't be with me instead, since your internship schedule is going to be quite erratic."
“W, I realize we are going to face some challenges with your career that will require you to be in SC for a month. I feel that it is in E’s best interest to stay here with me as you will be extremely busy working there.”
Leave the L comment out for your rebuttal. Once you bring up that you are speaking to a L, she will probably not hear anything after that.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I appreciate the suggestions so far, Kaffe/LITB. I'm nervous about it, only because I've never done anything like this before. Hope I don't get stage fright or something.
Does anybody know off-hand if I need to contact the authorities to keep our son within the state (say if my wife decides she wants to take him without my consent) or is this done via the courthouse by me/lawyer?
I appreciate the suggestions so far, Kaffe/LITB. I'm nervous about it, only because I've never done anything like this before. Hope I don't get stage fright or something.
You'll be fine. Think positive and keep the focus on your S. Keep the convo short and don't allow your W to drag you into R/M history. This is from my own experiences. What's the worst thing your W can do? Get mad? Ah well. Not your problem.
Originally Posted By: alamo76
Does anybody know off-hand if I need to contact the authorities to keep our son within the state (say if my wife decides she wants to take him without my consent) or is this done via the courthouse by me/lawyer?
I'd guess that you need something from the court to keep your S in the state. I'd imagine that this shouldn't be a problem once you meet with your L. Is your appointment tomorrow?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I am worried about the consequences, but then again, that goes to show that I really need to dig deep and trust that our Lord knows best
I understand this. I think it's especially hard because we FEAR that our w will think we don't love them. It feels very unnatural for me to think of myself, to protect myself. Plus I know my w's reaction to it.. and there will be h3ll to pay.
Friends remind me all the time that God knows our hearts. That if we truly know that our actions are out of love and not out of ego, vengence, anger, hurt, and all that other negative stuff.. we really can't go wrong. He will take care of us.
We do our best. if our spouses decide to see us in another light..that's on them. We cannot remove the dust from their eyes. Only God can.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
UPDATE 6pm Well, my missus didn't ask, but that's not to say she doesn't care what I think. If DB/DRing rules of the WAS is anything to go by, she could've been mildly interested to see if I'd step up and be a man and talk to her about it. ...At least I'll be more equipped (hopefully) tomorrow to make some decisions.
