myk, thank you for your thoughts and for the book recommendation. I'm going to order it today. I think I've ordered every book mentioned on this site.
And myk, I'm not always so level-headed but I think I have made progress in that area over the years. For instance, I held a lot of anger towards my parents as they were physically and emotionally abusive but I have forgiven them. Truly. We are close today.
And yes, I have wondered if my 180 or LRT is to ask him to leave. I did that during the first bombing round in our marriage (I'm not going to count the ones while we were dating), but now we have two kids and they're older. So they will notice.
I don't want them to feel abandoned because I don't want them go through what I am going through...
Our D16 is depressed and is recovering from an eating disorder, that occurred after her beloved Grandmother died (they were extremely close). I'm paralyzed by what this will do to her.
Also, I have wondered if I'm co-dependent but then I think that if it wasn't for the kids, I would have left by now.
