This is a tough one. The good news is you know where you are and you know where you want to be. You just don't have a road map. I am taking it this is really big for you. He may need some help in getting there. My suggestion would be to give him some concrete examples of what you would like him to do in certain situations. e.g. In situation X, it would be helpful if Y. Of course, he is going to have to be open to change.
Brutal traffic in and out of town today gave me too much time to think...
I wonder if it's going to take me being "done" for him to ever really step up and be the man I need...
So many of my issues with him are based on his lack of emotionally maturity, and his flakiness, and his need to always threaten to leave.
It's like he needs that threat hanging over my head to feel safe. To feel in control.
Even when it wasn't said, it seemed like it was always there hanging in the air between us.
Every fight seemed like life and death for our relationship.
Every problem or disagreement was because we were "incompatible".
Our lives were always based on his time table because he was indecisive about everything - including having another child.
I was SO tempted to just text him today and tell him that I can't do this anymore...
Because today I'm just feeling worn out.
If I keep guiding him through our problems, looking for all the solutions, then I'm being the strong one, and once again, he's waffling and vacillating and crying about how he doesn't want to hurt me and the kids.
I'm not perfect. I know that. I have stuff I need to work on. I wasn't the perfect wife. I know he's been hurt too.
It's like the foundation was never there because as we were trying to build it, he kept tearing it down.
