our monday went ok. we did a lot of stuff together, stuff i never ever used to do. we ended up talking, i thought it was ok, but it turns out any sort of talking is too much for her i guess. well at least any kind of what happened in the past, what to expect for our future.

she is 27 weeks pregnant and still has no plan where to live.

she did 2 things yesterday that dont have anything to do with R stuff or anything else that i have to decide if we get back in a R if i can put up with.

she still said a couple of times she not sure who she should pick??? it was a big blow i truly thought she had already picked me and thats why we were trying to work things out. she is very hesitant to get in a R with me, 1 big reason is the baby daddy would not longer be an option, and she doesnt want to regret it???

i took her out for dinner for her b-day, i let her take a nap before we went and she was uber blah and cranky. i did a good job at dinner leaving her alone and having fun with my kids.

at one point she did say... she was just getting used to talking to me and not worrying that i would turn it into a discussion, well i kinda ruined that and am back to square 1. i did try to ask her to set a time to talk to me about it, but no dice. i also said (and she should not HAVE to do this) but why dont you tell me your uncomfortable with the conversation and tell me at the time. she said she should not have to. i should just know. FYI this is also true of whats romantic, i should just KNOW what she likes and wants and needs.

so today i didnt text her, its a 'work' day. she is trying to start her own business so she takes days like today to work. she texted me once, reminded me of some bill, and thats been all i have heard from her today.

i sent her one back, and then another a little bit later just kinda of being funny about my day so far, she had always complained in the past i never would share the small things about my day.

one thing else she did say...
she is kind of waiting for a big sign thats says.... TAKE HIM BACK. i dont think all the small signs are out weighing the bad ones.

i sent her a text with a list of things... just things i did yesterday, that were different than how i used to be, and these were just the things i did in 1 day.

so im not going to try and talk to her til she reaches for me, but DAMN its hard. so posting here, and trying to keep busy with me kids.