Earlier in the sitch before your W went to OH and sent the text on touching the leg. If it happens again(it is cyclic and it might), try being flirty and see what happens. My W did similar things and i did not catch the drift. Later she told me that she got really tired of trying to 'lead me'. Just a warning. It could go either way.
Your W went to meet her friend who was D ?? oh man, that definitely says a lot about her attitude toward you. She could be projecting her fears, anger of her friend's situation.
One thing i would say is watch out for the situations where your W says "you left without telling me" like you did for gas. In my case when i did similar stuff W told me that she felt emotionally distanced and started resenting me. I am really not sure how that could be handled because at this point, your needs are not being met. I mean both of your needs are not being met. That only worsens the vicious circle. Maybe some pros will have a better advice.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...